I am almost 20 weeks in at Canyon and time has flown by. I can still remember the day I came in, not in the best condition mentally or physically. I do not feel like the same girl who was broken on the inside anymore. I am having an interesting week at Canyon right now, it’s pretty tough but I know it’s for the best. I am truly grateful for this program and what it has done for me in just a short amount of time.
I’m feeling really grateful
for having been born into the family
that I did
with the parents,
that I have.
I’ve been working the steps and I feel so blessed
to have been brought up
knowing that my Higher Power exists
that He is in control of it all
that I can always turn to Him,
and He will always listen
that I can trust Him with anything and everything
that I am never alone
that He is always there for me
and here with me,
that He always will be,
and that He loves me.
Thank you Ma & Pa- for opening my eyes to these truths,
for having done so since the moment my eyes first opened.
A few days ago I got a job and I just love it. I am a grooming assistant. It has taught me so much in the few days I have been there. It has taught me to be on time. It has taught me patience for others and for animals. How has it helped me with daily life? It has brought calmness to my life. It has also brought light and comfort. I am truly happy today and that is to the help here and for this job. I am so blessed life has never been better
“Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.” –Virgil Thomson
This quote is a huge part of my life I like to think of it in my recovery as my first sobriety attempt in 2015 and my second was for a quick week in early 2018 now this third attempt I have stuck with the curiosity of the sober life for six months. I first tried to and not found out it would hurt me so a few years later I retried to learn how to be sober and now I am in my third try seeing how I like it.
I recently read that “the brightest light comes out of the greatest darkness.” I can honestly say that nothing has ever been truer for me. When I arrived at here I was broken; I was defeated, hopeless, and lost. After only a few months I am beginning to find myself again. Every day is a new adventure where I get to discover a new passion, interest, or strength. A month ago I lost someone to the disease of addiction and I fell under a cloud of darkness. Being here during this time of grief has saved my life. In this time of darkness, my community of sisters helped support me and lift me up. It is because of them that I have found my way through and am able to let the light shine through again.
Fear is voluntarily threatening our own lives and blaming something else. My fear gets in the way of my life and especially my sobriety. It leads me down a path of self destruction because I put on this façade that I’m fearless and because of that I take risks that put my life in danger. Because of fear of how my life will be sober I take actions to destroy my progress and blame it on the stress that others are putting on me. Fear holds me back from making progress in my recovery.